Something is different

When you work for "the Church", well at least with what I do, Lent is all about "retreats", reflection. Unfortunately as too often is the case, this does not include me. Oh my plans are grand, and I look toward Lent when I'm in the December break and think that I will go on a silent retreat and I will go to daily Mass, weekly Stations and get to confession early, and a host of other things,while helping everyone else, but I just don't seem able to make most not surprisingly or sometimes any of those things a reality shockingly.

I know it's my fault. And I pave the way with good intentions - but when choices come, I do the things I "have to get done", then I do for my own spiritual good - some role model! We have 1,700 families - let's face it I'm doomed with that attitude. I could never "be done" with what "needs" to be done.

So tonight, once again I stood staring down the barrel at my Holy Week duties, knowing that I didn't "retreat", but tonight, I stopped doing and was quiet.

And in that quiet, the memories and feelings of retreats of the past flooded my mind. I could see priests, a host of smiles, Adoration, a rambling beach house with quiet nooks for prayer, a forest view from the window of a rustic chapel, a heart-felt letter from my dearest friend. I felt a shift.

It doesn't make up for what I chose to miss, and I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I stopped and it tells me something is definitely different.

Conclusion

Recently, a host of things some smaller and some larger happened or didn't that just, well "stunk". Conclusion some days are just blue no matter what you do. I'm sure we're all familiar with blue. I just needed to share it with you. Pity party over. Now that's some better blue.

Miss Laura - way cool! Thank you.

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Realizations

On our recent trip to Vicksburg http://www.nps.gov/vick/ and Natchez http://www.nps.gov/natc/ (pictures will be forth coming as home computer gets fixed : ) , I was really getting interested and asking questions about the siege and campaign to take Vicksburg and was intrigued by how the people in the city, when they knew General Grant was coming dug caves and put their housewares there and lived there through much of the "conflict". Anyway, He turned to me, stepped back as if to scrutinize me more fully and this light popped on in his eyes. "I just realized you are a Social Historian!" He said it with emphasis that way too, like with capital letters. "The historical event doesn't interest you or not for long, but how the people it affected dealt with it and reconstructed that fascinates you. Look at how want the "local color" experience."

This puts a whole new spin on our historical trips. I know, geek alert, I was even more involved when we went to Natchez and road 80 + miles of the Natchez Trace http://www.nps.gov/natr/ (pronounced like matches, but with a "n" instead). How they went about their daily lives and the role of slavery, especially freed slaves then owning slaves themselves!

That sent me into a whole psychological/sociological evaluation of the situation and I couldn't get enough info. I poured over at length each of the displays, at the National Historic parks -Melrose and the Barber Home the rather palatial town home of William Johnson http://www.nps.gov/state/ms/ Normally you should know, I just skim by and pick up at catches my eye. But this time I devoured every poster, sliding board and kiosk that came my way.

I am seeing "the late unpleasantness", "the war of northern aggression" and "the war between the states" as it's referred to here in the South very differently, I think because I feel I touched on, at least to some degree, how it made the people feel and act. I can't wait till the next time!